You Can’t Fix A Body You Hate

*Note from Sarah:  Here is a new and eye-opening post by Jason Seib.  It all begins with loving who you are, inside and out.  This post could have been written directly to me only 4 short years ago and not until I changed my goals and focus to obtaining good health rather than working towards obtaining some fantasy of what I wanted to see in the mirror was I able to switch to a more realistic and healthier perspective and learn to love and appreciate myself for who I am and not for what my ideal body image might be.  

You Can’t Fix A Body You Hate

For those of you with purely aesthetic goals, you absolutely must understand that you are playing a game that you will only win if your head is in the right place.  To put it more bluntly, (insert post title here).  In all my experience, with all types of people at nearly every possible fitness level imaginable, I have yet to see even one person turn a body they hate into a body they love.  To be honest, I don’t think it can be done.  I am not saying people don’t end up appreciative of their gains, but many will never be satisfied with their bodies, even when they far exceed their original goals.  You don’t want to be one of these people.

(Brace yourself, here comes some finger pointing.)  If you have been on a thousand diets, lost 10 or 20 pounds more times than you can count, weigh yourself a minimum of once per day, can’t see yourself naked without disdain, and absolutely loathe clothes shopping, you probably won’t win this battle without some serious soul searching.  Don’t get me wrong, you can certainly build a body that crushes others with envy, but you probably won’t see it.  You already know people who are exactly who you will become.  They have that amazing body that you wish you could have, and they are insecure about every inch of it.  Of course, this is the extreme example, but any amount of this behavior saddens me.  It’s so frustrating as a trainer to watch someone make unbelievable gains only to nitpick their bodies under a magnifying glass while the rest of the world admires their success in awe.

I have seen as much as 40 pounds of weight lost in only a few months go seemingly unnoticed by the person doing the losing.  I have seen people become a primary source of inspiration for the new people in my gym, yet I have to walk on egg shells when I talk about their goals lest I bring them to tears.  I have seen bodies evolve into absolute magnificence and remain as covered as tolerable on hot summer days.  What is the point of all this?  Why go to all the trouble of busting your ass in the gym and eating right if your goals are actually unattainable?

I’m asking nicely, please stop and think about these questions.  What’s riding on this?  What will you have when you get there?  For that matter, how will you know when you are there?

My goals for you are all about health and the physical capacity to enjoy your life.  I have come to understand that bodies that feel great and perform great usually look great by accident.  But my goals for you don’t matter.  So, health and performance aside, what do you think you would gain if your body looked exactly the way you see it in your dreams?  Do you think you would be happy?  Be honest now.  In my opinion (and experience), if you are the type of person who spends a good portion of each day miserable because you hate your body, you will not reach a point where your body suddenly becomes a source of great pride.

I have theorized, but have no proof, that this might be how some people develop exercise addictions.  Insecurities that run deeper than skin level are addressed by changing the body instead of changing the head.  When this futile strategy doesn’t work the assumption is that more exercise must be the answer.  If food takes the blame for low self esteem, the result might be decades of yo-yo dieting or, in drastic cases, an eating disorder.

Am I calling you out?  Again, I don’t want to hurt your feelings.  I just want you to win.  So what should you do?

First off, love your body.  It’s the only one you have and it’s actually a pretty amazing example of biological engineering, performing astonishing biochemical actions millions of times per day despite the fact that you don’t appreciate it.  Get educated and treat it right.

DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE INTO YOUR LIFE WHO HARMFULLY CRITICIZES YOUR BODY!  EVER!  Life is too short to let assholes take anything from you, and your self worth is no exception.

And finally, change your goals.  If you can force yourself to focus on your fitness capacity and health instead of the size of your thighs or belly, you will find that it is much easier to stay motivated and confident.  Then one day you will wake up to a body you love, and the change will have happened while you weren’t paying attention.

I sincerely wish I could lay out a step by step plan that would guarantee you a new outlook, but sadly I can not.  My hope is that you will catch yourself in depreciating thoughts and put things back into perspective.  Being fit and healthy is awesome – don’t rob yourself of these things by dwelling on the stuff that will come naturally when your mind is right.  And truth be told, it’s probably not too bad in that skin of yours.


  1. says

    This is a great post. I wholeheartedly agree. In order to make lasting changes to your body, you MUST love it first for where it is and for what it can do for you.

    I also believe that in order for this to fully happen, you also need to address your own negative self-talk. Yes, staying away from people who criticize your body is a great suggestion but from my experience, with myself and with all the clients I have worked with, usually we are our own worst critics. We tend to demean and bash ourselves way worse than anyone else could.

    Learning ways to tame our negative self-talk is so important and a crucial step to truly loving ourselves and our bodies. When we can do this and create new goals, using a new perspective, anything is possible.


  2. says

    Great post!! I began this journey with counseling because I did hate myself and I realized I wasn’t going to love anyone well if I hated myself (to the measure we love ourselves, we love others). I loathed myself and I couldn’t figure out why I did. Once those issues were addressed and healed, I moved into Crossfit/Paleo. I was ready. I will say, though, that the healing continues and the love for my body grows as I see what it can do. Yes, I have days where I think, “Why am I not losing weight faster” – I had 90 to go and am 45 pounds in, but my trainer is great to come back to what I HAVE accomplished -how far I have come. When I feel my tight core or my arm muscles, I MARVEL at the beauty of the human body – its resilency and its strength. I marvel at my body and am thankful. Posting this on my Facebook in hopes that it will inspire others on this journey.

  3. says

    Sarah, I’m loving these guest posts by Jason SO much! It’s very unusual to come across a man who seems to understand so clearly how the female mind sometimes works. It’s hard enough to understand ourselves but to have someone else, and a man, explain it to you is pretty eye-opening. This guy is gold!!

    I also want to say how much I enjoy your podcasts. Your attitude is very refreshing – you don’t sugar-coat anything (certainly not literally! 😉 and every once in awhile you deliver a gentle boot in the butt to listeners who don’t seem prepared to make choices that will improve the health of their kids and family. May I say that Dain is VERY sarcastic? LOL! The 3 of you have a great chemistry and make my lunch time power walks much more entertaining.

    In short, thank you Sarah (and Jason, Chrissy & Dain!) for everything you do! You are improving people’s lives. Certainly mine.

    Danielle, Montreal

  4. Mary Titus says

    Before I began my low carb journey, I had a conversation with body to assure it that I loved it. This is what I tell others who do not love themselves and use that as an excuse to lose weight. Thanky for this timely blog.

  5. says

    So true, Jason. Thank you for caring enough to write a post on this! I will testify to the fact that the negative self-talk can be broken. Personally, I feel that happened in my own life through prayer – the change is amazing. :)

  6. says

    I absolutely love this post. It did call me out. Lately I’ve been trying to stop the negative talk and focus on my fitness accomplishes (not the number on the scale). It’s really hard. One big thing I’m trying to do is actually accept a compliment. I have a small waist compared to my hips and bust and people (women) always point out my “tiny” waist. Instead of brushing the compliment aside by saying, “yeah, but I wish my thighs were smaller” or something – I’ve just been saying…thank you! One of the most motivating quotes I read since I started cycling was, “you can’t hate thighs that take you ten miles up a steep climb!” It’s really true, too.

    • Sarah says

      I LOVE this Jacqueline! I used to do the same thing, totally sabotage any kind of compliment by drawing attention to something about myself that bothered me but my simply saying thank you and accepting a compliment and valuing it, that also has helped me get to a place where I like who I am, warts and all! : )

  7. Marcheline says

    I agree with this post, and I understand the downfalls you’re talking about Jason… unfortunately, the folks with negative self-image (there’s one in my family so I know from whence I speak) have the problem because of something emotional or messed up inside. It’s not really about their body, though it seems to be all they focus on.

    Sort of like rape is not about sex, it’s about control and abuse of power. People that nitpick their appearance, their body, every little tiny thing about themselves… it’s not really about their body (which usually looks much better than the average body). It’s about control, or a loss of control they feel in their lives.

    I guess what I’m saying is, most people can’t just pick a new perspective like they’d pick a different pair of socks. If it were that easy, therapists around the world would be out of work. Sometimes (I would venture to say most times) the bad body-image is just a symptom of the deeper problem. Perhaps a traumatic experience in childhood, or a continuous belittling by parents or family members. Perhaps a divorce, or parents using a child’s emotions to play tug of war with each other. The list is, sadly, endless.

    Recognizing that hating your body is not emotionally healthy is easy to do. Getting to the root of the problem and changing it is not so easy.

    My hope is that folks with these issues DO “go paleo” and DO exercise and DO get healthier… and that the increased energy, sleep, endorphins, and the removal of toxins from their systems help them physically while they get help (be it professional or personal) to deal with the issues that are causing their insecurity.

      • Marcheline says

        I was discussing disturbing emotional causes for problems that don’t seem to have anything in relation with the symptoms. In an adult way. I was not being “scummy”. Life is not always unicorns and fountains of glitter, and if people are going to get help for things that are making them unable to find happiness, sometimes you have to talk about things. Bad things happen to people, and being able to say the name of something and define it is the beginning of conquering it. Mature people are able to discuss things, even if they are unpleasant, and focus on the actual meaning behind the words without calling names. It was those people I was talking to.

        • Sierra Carter says

          Marcheline, I saw where you were coming from with your analogy; it wasn’t scummy. Thanks for your insight.

  8. KimberlyL says

    This post couldn’t be more timely for me. I started Paleo on July 3, and lost 13 pounds in 26 days. (I need to lose about 70) I was thrilled, riding high and felt great.

    Then this week, NOTHING. The scale is showing a 2 poind gain and I have been crabby and frustrated. I have been asking myself – WHY I am doing this when I have not lost this week.? WHY have I given up a 6 pack a day diet coke habit? Why have I given up sweets and ice cream? The meals that have been so satisfying to me over the last month now seem liks an unappealing reminder of depravation and failure.

    Sadly, I have not given a single thought to how much better I am sleeping, how much more energy I have, how I am no long fueling my day with diet pop.

    Thanks for the much needed perspective.

  9. christy says

    i love this one Jason! It is soo me (or rather, WAS so me!) I am fortunate to get to work out in your gym and can’t say enough good things about the way you’ve helped me learn this new perspective. I think the final turning point was this winter I said something along the lines of ….”I just need to lose x amount more weight so I can wear shorts and tank tops in hawaii” or something to that effect…and you said “OR YOU COULD JUST LOVE YOURSELF” i joked and said that would just be too easy…but it stuck with me, and although I had ALREADY made mass improvements I think that one statement was the final kicker (don’t think I ever told you that).
    anyway this is an amazing post and i hope that more people can get their heads on straight and really love themselves and enjoy what they do in the gym… and one day really you just look at yourself and think wow when did i come so far?!

    • JasonS says

      Thanks for validating this post with some real life perspective, Christy. It has always been a pleasure to work with you and I am a better trainer because of you.

  10. Shannon says

    This is where Crossfit/strength training has been huge, and my trainer vital. I have never thought of my body in a positive way. Learning how to do Olympic lifts, and having my trainer pushing me to do heavier weights has completely changed the way I see my body. Yes, I’ve lost a lot of weight, but I can lift weight I never imagined even getting off the floor. That means so much more to me. For the first time in my life I feel physically strong. I love it! Thanks for this post, and for all the great food. We had your brussel sprouts with salmon for dinner and it was amazing! It’s so much easier to stick to a healthy diet when you care about your body.

  11. Julia says

    I really loved this post. I have a lot of weight to lose, but it’s been tough for me to find my inspiration, my reasons for doing so. I finally found some inspiration, and it’s from just the sort of person you describe – those who lose weight purely for aesthetic reasons, but only because I realized I didn’t want to be like that. I can’t get myself worked up to make lifestyle changes just because I’ll look good or fit into a certain size. As I saw one friend (whose reasons for weight loss were purely aesthetic), it finally came to me that this doesn’t motivate me because I see my friend – yeah, she’s thin, but she can’t lift her 5 year old daughter or give her 8 year old daughter a piggy-back ride. She can’t run or swim. She gets migraines. She puts her back out sometimes and has to stay in bed for days. She can’t keep her house clean. She may be thin, but she can’t live life. Overweight as I am, I’m strong enough to lift my teenage daughter. I can certainly give her a piggy-back ride. I run, swim, and bike. I have the ability to lift my groceries or 40 pound bag of dog food into my car. I realized that being thin is no motivator at all… being able to live life to the fullest is. To lose weight to be more fit – to swim, run, and bike faster, to be able to lift more weight, to move more gracefully and with power…. these are GOOD reasons to attempt to get fit and healthy. Your post helped me to understand my own thinking just a little bit better. Thanks!

  12. says

    Again a great post.
    Years ago i’ve lost a lot of weight and i thought that it would make me happy.
    But it didn’t because i just hated myself. I gained the weight all back.
    Since a year now i’m working on myself by eating healthy and working out. But also learning to deal with traumatic experiences from my past and that i’m worth to take good care of. I have reached my weight goals and lost over 60 pounds. But it’s different that years ago. This time i didn’t want to loose weight to become happy. I wanted to get healty and happy and losing weight just came with that. I’m not hating myself and my body anymore. It’s fine the way it is and i’m proud of what i can do with it. I did a deadlift of 242 lb this week and loved myself for it.

  13. Judy says

    Amazing post! I have a long way to go but realizing the real reasons I make (and continue to make) changes are so that I can look back many years from now and say, yeah – I did it for me because I love me and I love living life fully. I love feeling stronger every time I am at the box. I love fueling my body rather than just eating. And I look forward to growing older as I get stronger – maybe those really will be my golden years! Thank you for this website & blog and the work you put into it, definitely a daily inspiration.

  14. erin says

    Great post! I spent all my pre-teen and teen years in ballet, where aesthetics can easily trump sound technique and healthy choices. I spent alot of time obsessing about the wrong things, wasted time. The body can do amazing things and make amazing changes.
    Treating my body right , delighting in the things it can do, accepting the things it can’t and working towards the things I might have to struggle a bit at is a much more fulfilling way to go about life. I see the 4 lives I have brought into the world with my body, flaws and all, and the look in my husband’s eyes to remind me what to just accept as unchangeable (and usually unimportant, anyway).
    Mom’s of daughters; those girls are watching you, even when you don’t think they are. A large part of how they base their “body image” comes from the examples set forth by their mothers. Loving and taking good care of your body will help teach them to do the same for theirs.

  15. says

    As always Jason, a wonderful post that hits the core of such a pertinent issue. I have been dealing with this one most of my life, and the most success I ever have aesthetically speaking is when I am happiest and focussing on other aspects of my life but still exercising and eating well, and as a lovely side-effect, I end up looking fabulous. More people need to see this post (Sarah and Jason thank you) so I am re-posting on my blog now! Thank you both. xx

  16. says

    I’ve re-posted this..thanks for a great article. I do work with women on changing their “fat” programming and loving themselves and their bodies. I personally struggled with that one myself for over 20 years. Excess weight affected every part of my life. It wasn’t an easy pattern to break, but I found tools like EFT ( the Emotional Freedom Technique) that really helped. CrossFit has been a huge part of breaking out of that pattern as well. I encourage all of my clients to train for a specific fitness goal rather than an esthetic goal and it makes a huge difference. Thanks again, I’m really happy to see some focus on the mental, emotional aspects of training here!

  17. Jeanne Lobsinger says

    I have been following your blog for a week now. I went way back and downloaded a few months before so I could read and catch up. My husband and I have been following Paleo for a couple of weeks now and we feel great! But this article hit me right in the gut! It was written about me. I have always hated being tallest, big boned, big feet and so on. My husband sees my body as the beautiful body that gave birth and nursed two big babies, oh how I love his for that. For the first time in my 40+ diet history, I am no longer on a diet. I am on an eating plan for life. I am no long wanting to get down to a size 10, I am trying to stay off medication for life. I still have a little work to do in my head, but what a great way to start off a Monday with a positive article! Thank you so much!!!


  18. cTo says

    This is spot-on. I’ve been in the trap of body-image issues my entire life and it’s only recently that I’ve realized that it’s just how my deeper issues with self-esteem rear their ugly head. I agree 100% with Marcheline that a lot of it is about control. As I’ve gotten older and life becomes more and more unpredictable (naturally), my subconscious stresses out and attacks the one, tangible thing that I *should* be able to control: myself, and my appearance. Thus even when i’m making progress through my change in diet and etc, any time I am upset about other things, all I can see in myself is the muffin top that won’t quite go away, or the fact that my body didn’t look as good during swimsuit shopping as I thought it would.

    Even though I identify the problem, it is still really really hard to let go. I feel like a major factor that screws me up is that we are surrounded by a culture that has adapted itself over the last few decades to purposely MAKE us feel inadequate and point out all the things about ourselves we cannot control. TV ads, internet ads, bus ads, billboards, even radio, all of these marketing messages are very, very well designed to have very subtle messages making us feel that we are not good enough, that we cannot accept who we are as we are and won’t we try their product to make things better? Thus, even though people like Jason essentially give me permission to accept myself as I am, it’s hard to keep that signal in mind when I go out into the world of oppressive, unhealthy noise.

    • JasonS says

      Your points regarding society and the media are absolutely valid. I think maybe the answer might be found in finding a way to get above such things by not identifying with them. If you can get to a place where your inner voice is capable of making clear distinctions between reality and advertising pressures designed specifically to make you believe you suck, I think you will find peace of mind. Sadly I don’t have a map to that place, but you sound like an intelligent person and I’m sure you will find it. Just don’t give up.

      Good luck.

  19. Julie says

    What a great post! Just what I needed to hear as I get ready to start my Paleo journey! Thanks so much for reminding me the changes I am making are about more than just aesthetics! The changes are about being healthier and more fit, that is what is really important!

  20. yadi says

    Your piece is awesome!!! Nothing but the truth. I’ve been overweight all my life. I WAS the fat kid. I despised my body for as long as I could remember until finally, presently at 37 I’m still considered overweight but I’m actually 85 pounds lighter and I actually have a 1 in front of my weight. But most importantly it happened when I wasn’t being obssesive with the scale and everything else. It just happened. I am in the best shape internally and externally than I’ve been in my entire life. And I’m sure with time I will become even better and be the athlete that I’ve always wanted to be. Oh, and I LOVE my body with every single curve. 😉

  21. says

    aww, i love this post. it rings so true. until you find happiness and acceptance in yourself youll never get anywhere, in life or with establishing relationships with people. you cant help other until you help yourself and you cant help yourself until you love and accept yourself, just as you come.

  22. says

    Great post and this echoes a lot of the stuff we talk about on our podcast! I’m bummed that we didn’t get a chance to meet at the AHS…it was crazy being a volunteer! I thought the AHS was fantastic, but I did notice there was no one there talking about self esteem as it relates to health and fitness. What you said in your article is a big part of this. I think a discussion on “What comes first?” is at hand here- should you take care of your nutrition and workouts and the result is being happier, or should you focus on loving yourself first, then giving yourself a good chance of success going paleo?


  23. JennL says

    This is my first time to your site, found the post from Elisa’s Table and boy am I supper happy I found it! This is something I need to work on. Great post, one I know I will be revisiting until this sticks in my head.

  24. Kimberly says

    Thank you!

    I remember the day I looked at myself in the mirror my Sophmore year in highschool thinking how fat I am. I was only 130 lbs and 5’7 but had an anorexic family member that kept me in constant doubt of myself. I have spent since Sophomore year in high school (and I’m now 28) looking in the mirror daily and criticizing what I see.

    When I was 26, I got engaged to an incredible person who opened my eyes to a form of fitness I LOVE (Crossfit) and in turn I started cooking great food and training to support his efforts to get into a search and rescue academy. While supporting him, I soon found that I was doing things I never thought I could do. I found myself running my first mile, then first 5K, then first 3.7 mile run about a year ago and still… it was never enough. I was never happy with what I saw in the mirror.

    Then one morning I woke up with such extreme pain that I ended up in the hospital with the worst pain in my life for 3 days. I had grown up with years of getting sick every time I ate, but I never could figure it out. My new diet and fitness regime made me feel better, yet something internally had gone wrong. I didn’t get it. After training and eating better than I’d ever done before, my best still wasn’t good enough for my body.

    I let myself go thinking something must just be wrong with me and gained back every pound I’d ever worked so painstakingly to lose. I even let myself manage to gain this weight back before my wedding. But I’ve recently realized that what was wrong was out of my control and I have worked to make myself love the body I have, for better or for worse, and now treat it as best I can.

    Your post helped me to realize that no one is perfect and we all want to change something. Yet we are failing ourselves by going around daily thinking about what it is we want to change next instead of celebrating our successes and powering on to accomplish the next thing we never thought possible with the skin we live in.

    Thank you for this post!! I hope you’ve reached a lot of people!

  25. Tonya says

    You are SOOO calling me out, in this post – and you are SOOO right!

    I really need to change my mindset, so that I can change my life, for the better.

    Great post!

  26. says

    I thoroughly enjoyed this post; really make things click for me. In my early 20’s I was 230. My age 25 I was 130. At 29 I found myself at 210. Now I’m 178. Everything you described in this post is beyond true. Self discovery, self love and celebrating each and every victory is key.

  27. Tanya says

    Amazing post! I agree with everything said!
    I am 34 and weigh around 150 lbs. Today I went to the beach with my 3 beautiful children and walked around, played in the water like I as confident as the 120 lbs 23 yr old next to me. I kept telling myself (in my head) that I was beautiful & sexy.
    I do that as much as I can around my kids. I don’t want them to learn any bad habits of insecurity from me.
    But my favourite part of the day is when my kids looked at me as though I was the most beautiful person on the beach. They see no flaws, so I try to look at myself in the same way even though it seems hard sometimes. It really makes playing with your kids in a bikini at the beach so much more enjoyable!
    So see your self as your parents or your children would, flawless <3

  28. Daniela says

    Thank you for this post. You have an uncanny knack for saying exactly the right things at the right times (or maybe this is such a universal issue that it’s ALWAYS the right time). I also thank you for the posts on not using the scale. I will put sticky notes on my bathroom mirror to remind me to love me.

  29. Karla says

    This is an awesome post! It’s so true, and this is why I’ve recently decided I’m going to start ignoring the number on the scale and set some other goals instead – namely getting my blood pressure under control without medication, and increase my fitness so that I can walk 5k in 45 minutes without feeling like I want to die. :)

  30. Alan says

    Excellent post, I have along way to go but now I know that I have not been enjoying and acknowledging the progress I have made. I have lost about 95 lbs but I keep saying I have such a long way to go but the fact is I am feeling really good, and I am very excited to learn moreabout Paleo – or being primal as Dean would put it.

    Regards Alan

  31. jacqui says

    It’s funny that I come across this post now, I recently ordered a t-shirt and one for my daughter – wonder if she’ll wear it!! in my research into other stuff as you’ll see when you look around the website.

    I realised the slogan is hard to read in the pic, but it is printed above the photo.

    I agree with what you say Sarah, and found the other posts interesting. I think it is very hard to go against societies current view that basically your worth is about what you look like and if you don’t look like a model on a billboard you are worth zip. There are many reasons I got to being 35kilos overweight, but 10 kilos lighter I am trying to stop the constant internal chatter that tells me REVOLTING my body is and how much I HATE it and how i HAVE to lose weight. Instead I’m trying to be thankful that after long years of abusing my body with junk food it is still trying to carry me around, and it will heal fully if I keep preparing real food. Will I ever be a super model, no, but I would love to go rollerblading, play netball again and go to the beach with my kids. In other words use my body for work, rest and play!

  32. Selena says

    Amazing post! That’s all I can say! I felt very emotional when reading, it hit very close to home for me. Thanks for the encouragement!

  33. Malin says

    There are exceptions to your post. I have Gender Identity Disorder. The only successful treatment for this condition is to change the body physically and biologically. No amount of changing how you think can make a person with GID happy about their body (it’s been tried and it fails, sometimes leading to a loss of life). And I know people who have made these physical changes and just blossomed into happiness.

    “I have come to understand that bodies that feel great and perform great usually look great by accident.”
    This I completely agree with and it fits with my disorder, as well as my fitness/health aims. I have defined fitness/health aims but your post has reminded me to keep these in mind. Thank you

  34. says

    Sarah and team, I just want to say how totally impressed I am with your website and its content. Whoever is your webmaster–it’s not a misnomer–he she is a master! I love the little features, like easily taking out an ingred. from a recipe and the ease with which I can navigate. I’m still in the process of embracing the paleo way, and am so aware of how food affects my body –like a paleo effect! Keep up the awesome support to your followers, you are soooo on to something here!
    Question, totally tangental….what’s wrong with popcorn? it’s a grain? I LOVE it and can’t find a sub!

  35. says

    Carol – I am not Sarah but yes, corn is considered a grain, not a vegetable. Have you tried dehydrated cauliflower as a sub? I hear it’s great. Have not tried it myself.

  36. sheila says

    I could not agree more with this sstatement from the article: “I have theorized, but have no proof, that this might be how some people develop exercise addictions. Insecurities that run deeper than skin level are addressed by changing the body instead of changing the head.” If anyone out there is starting to change their body through healthy eating and exercise and also wants to “change the head”, here is a book that worked great for me:
    The Body Image Workbook: An 8-Step Program for Learning to Like Your Looks by Thomas Cash

  37. Wendy White says

    Greetings all,

    Linked to the article from Elisa’s table. What fun finding a whole new community of like-minded folks! My experience has echoed many I’ve read here. I did not want to allow my 55 year old self to slide into unhealthy old age, so decided to do something about it. Got a trainer who led me to Paleo. A year and 30 pounds less later, I’m a new person. One of the helps I got along the way was given to me by the Universe, or my Self. When I started out on this new work, I received a notice from that a book had been published I might be intereseted in, “A Course in Weight Loss: 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever” by Marianne Williamson. It gave me the practices I needed in order to take the intellectual knowledge that, yes, I need to love ALL of myself, even that stupid body that never does what I want it to do, and move it down into my heart where I can experience the humility and gratitude that my body was born with and deserves on a daily basis. I learned I was holding on to some old ideas about my body that I wasn’t aware of. Once I learned them, I could let them go. Congratulations to all of you who are on this path, you are participating in your own “recovery” and by doing that, we all benefit.

  38. Charlotte says

    I think this is very true…but I notice that I feel much better about my body since I got back into a US size 14. That means that I can buy clothes in the same stores as my friends. I know it might sound ridiculous, but feeling like I was a ‘normal’ size, even if it was a big one, made me way more comfortable with my body. I’d like to be smaller, but at the moment I focus on physical activity I like and on eating a reasonable amount of food that I worked on with a nutritionist. Paleo eating has improved my overall sense of wellbeing, and it’s encouraged me to think about what I can -do- with my body rather than what I look like. Having a partner who supports my work and my diet choices also helps tremendously too.

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